Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Messenger of Death

So I find myself sick, slightly grumpy and smelling like a bandaid as I'm in the process of sweating out a fever. TMI? at this point in my sickness I don't give a damn. I've been putting off seeing a doctor because without medical insurance it will cost me an arm, a leg and most likely my left eye. All of which I've grown fond of. unfortunately I've given up the battle and am going this evening.

So on OKcupid I have been having a lil bit of fun here and there, talkin to the natives, getting to know the program and just playing the game. I'm not really a game player so I'm pretty much just sittin on the bench watching the pros kick the loveball around.

Until I got my first unknown IM. WTFudgecakes? I appreciate the IM system but on other sites there is an approval you have to go through before accepting someone's instant message. Sooo why here does it just pop up at the bottom of my screen.. some weird creepy dude asking me what color socks i'm wearing (no joke!)? Of course I answered "I'm not wearing socks big boy..."

I especially like the ones who tell me that they are in love with me and want to meet me and spend their lives with me.. in one short paragraph. AND THEN! view my profile. REALLY!?!?!

*insert incredulous stare here*

"I know you need a friend just like me" - he says in broken english

"The wisest man admits he knows nothing" - i reply in the hopes of confusing the crap outta him.

"I know. I read your profile allrady" -he states. what the hell is allrady?

this ones a wiley one. he's gonna be tough to get rid of. like an unknown rash after a really hardcore party night. I can only do one last thing. BLOCK. I hate using this function. I know it's a part of the process of the dating world, but I still feel its like burning a rickety old bridge. Lets face it, would Indiana Jones do it??

This is how I make my hardest decisions. :p

So Dear OkCupid

Why the hell would you allow people to IM each other without any kind of filter in any way shape or form? What kind of crazy cracked out security do you have on this totally free ... wait... nevermind. :p


I got what I paid for.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Glasses Gone Wrong

I've been wearing glasses since I was in first grade. I remember my first pair being a truly kickass pink and blue rainbow frames with smurfette's face on the temples. I rocked those things like nobody's business.

Strangely I remember the first time I was called four-eyes. I remember being in second grade, looking the kid straight in the face and calling him a smartass. Its amazing what we pick up from adults right!? I got in trouble, he got labeled smartass by the other kids. incidentally his new nickname stuck for years to come.

So today.. being that I have the most insane crappy spex rx out there, contacts are pretty much an out for me. I mean I can become a lab rat for the contact lens companies... but I just can't see me allowing nerds in lab coats to stab me in the eye repeatedly in order to find lenses that I could see out of.

so whats the point of this post??? People who wear glasses and have no RX should be slapped repeatedly. I don't care who you are or what your reason is behind wearing giant frames from the 80's bought at your local street cred sellin store. If you can see perfectly fine, why not leave the coolness to those of use who've paid our dues in the eyeglass wearing world!?

Did you spend your childhood being taunted for your (parent chosen) ugly frames? Did you break pairs only to be punished like crazy? Have you ever failed a driving test because you didn't want the hot guy working at the DMV to see you in your spex???

No. You haven't. You basically picked up W magazine saw Lindsay Lohatesherself wearing a giant pair of Ferragamos and decided you needed to mimick her.

Please, for the love of god and all that is holy, grow an independent backbone. I'll even grant you street cred for it.

and finally... I can only hope that soon something horrific like gecko covered genie pants come back into style just to watch the fashion suicide ensue. Please let that be the new trend for Summer 2010. I really need the laugh.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


So apparently I"m destined to not be like everyone else and neglect their cold/flu/malaria to the point of deliriousness and THEN!! go see a dr. nooo I have to wake up with the left side of my face swollen and tender.

Dear Sinuses,

Do you hate me for a specific reason? Or are you just general haters?? Is it because almost 10 years ago I pierced my nose?? Or maybe because I decided nasal spray made my eyes water?? Or are you just treating my face like crap today because you hate for fun?

I would like you to know that the minute the ability to remove you from my face is a possibility you're gone. outta here. fired. No Severence.


Yas' Face.

So tonight, I plan to go see a Dr. as I woke up today instead of just having a headache or a lil cough, I ended up with swelling and pain. WOO! my nose is clogged and running at the same time and I'm now in crotchety old curmudgeon mode from sickness. so yeah... I'm hoping they can just take me outta my misery.

and who knows.... maybe my Dr. will be some incredibly fantastic single Dr who wants to take care of my sinuses 24/5 (he'll get his allotted days off okay!?)