Monday, April 12, 2010

ohhh messenger misshaps

HIM: How are you rockmybobbysocks
ME: good thanks how are you
HIM: Oh I am fine thanks and might I say you look very pretty
ME:aww thank you very much. :D
HIM: and yes I say that as a Bisexual male
ME:well thanks.
HIM: To be up front and open can I ask you a question of a sexual nature
ME:not really.
ME:I mean I don't see the point of it at this level of conversation
HIM: Thats cool, your a nice lady dont mean to offend
ME:its all good.
HIM: Ah yes
HIM: ITs just two ladies last night, like me talking about me as a bi sexual, and I am now friends with one
ME:you're goin to ask anyway aren't you?
HIM: But em, well your a nice lookin lady and I dont wish to offend
HIM: Em well...
ME:feel free to ask but don't get angry if my answer isn't what you want to hear
HIM: Oh no, these to nice hethro ladies, I asked them if they like Gay porn as men having sex with one another
ME:ok
ME:and waht did they say
HIM: Well it was quite erotic, one liked it and one of ladies Loved Gay sex porn and me talking about gay sex
HIM: and straight sex
ME:so whats your point?
ME:or where's your question?
HIM: I was just a little curios and shocked at this women's love of Gay sex erotica,
But not to offend you
ME:you said you had a question...
ME:i'm still waiting for it.
HIM: I looked at you and thought you were cute
HIM: Oh do watch much homosexual porn, or just straight or none
ME:not really. just don't seem to have the time for it.
HIM: Ah yea each to her own
ME:yep.
HIM: But whatever about porn, what are you views on male Bi sexuality
HIM: But alas I most go, nice chattin to you
ME:ok
ME:nite

Pretentiouslicious

Seriously? Or my personal fave “for reals!?”

Percentages of Hell!!!

So after weeks of being on this site I started to realize its just like every other dating site as the percentages really mean nothing. I mean it is basically telling me that you answered 98% of your questions exactly like I did.

Do you know what this tells me?

You are my carbon copy. Why the hell would I want to date my carbon copy? I don’t want to date myself. Not to say I’m not awesome… because I am. :p

And how do they decide what is enemy, what is friend and what is match? I’m very curious how they function on a scientific and analytical level. Where does this info come from considering that most of the questions on the site are created by users?

I answer the questions and kinda chuckle at them as I wonder how can some of these questions have any bearing on your ability to match someone? And I find myself choosing irrelevant as to my matche’s answer.

Are people looking for their twin or their other half?

I was looking for someone who would challenge me and not always agree with me but who would be compatible with me on a different level. I find now that okcupid is free for a reason, just like other free dating sites and other sites people pay for but don’t get much more out of it. It’s a lot of fun to meatmarket style shop for a man but its no better than any of the others.

Strange how that works.

Soooo…

Dear cupid,

What kinda crack are you smoking matching my high percentages with pretentious guys who smack of elitist mindframes and haughty thoughts and actions? Am I not aware that I myself am the same as them? Should I be re-evaluating myself as a human being by the matches you find would work with me? Let me know how that works.

Or you can just deliver me what I want. :p

Love,
Unknowing snob???

PS: another guy messaged me today to ask if he could ask me a question of a sexual nature in which I answered “you just did.” And thanked him before blocking him. Awesome filters!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Sunday Bunny Sunday

Easter sunday doesn't usually amount of much these days with my family as we all kinda have our own crap to deal with. But as my abuelita (grandmother) has just been released from the hospital, the whole dang family came up to the house! so this is a rundown of my day,

  1. fixed my antivirus
  2. made bombass potato salad
  3. ate spicy enchiladas
  4. hung out with family
  5. watched King of Kings with them
  6. Held Abuelita's hand during an earthquake
  7. stuck my toe in my lil cousin's face
  8. crocheted a stupid lookin hat.

so yeah I'd say thats a damned good day :D

Soooo happy easter to all those who celebrate and happy sunday to those who don't. :D

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Messenger of Death

So I find myself sick, slightly grumpy and smelling like a bandaid as I'm in the process of sweating out a fever. TMI? at this point in my sickness I don't give a damn. I've been putting off seeing a doctor because without medical insurance it will cost me an arm, a leg and most likely my left eye. All of which I've grown fond of. unfortunately I've given up the battle and am going this evening.

So on OKcupid I have been having a lil bit of fun here and there, talkin to the natives, getting to know the program and just playing the game. I'm not really a game player so I'm pretty much just sittin on the bench watching the pros kick the loveball around.

Until I got my first unknown IM. WTFudgecakes? I appreciate the IM system but on other sites there is an approval you have to go through before accepting someone's instant message. Sooo why here does it just pop up at the bottom of my screen.. some weird creepy dude asking me what color socks i'm wearing (no joke!)? Of course I answered "I'm not wearing socks big boy..."

I especially like the ones who tell me that they are in love with me and want to meet me and spend their lives with me.. in one short paragraph. AND THEN! view my profile. REALLY!?!?!

*insert incredulous stare here*

"I know you need a friend just like me" - he says in broken english

"The wisest man admits he knows nothing" - i reply in the hopes of confusing the crap outta him.

"I know. I read your profile allrady" -he states. what the hell is allrady?

this ones a wiley one. he's gonna be tough to get rid of. like an unknown rash after a really hardcore party night. I can only do one last thing. BLOCK. I hate using this function. I know it's a part of the process of the dating world, but I still feel its like burning a rickety old bridge. Lets face it, would Indiana Jones do it??

This is how I make my hardest decisions. :p

So Dear OkCupid

Why the hell would you allow people to IM each other without any kind of filter in any way shape or form? What kind of crazy cracked out security do you have on this totally free ... wait... nevermind. :p

signed,

I got what I paid for.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Glasses Gone Wrong

I've been wearing glasses since I was in first grade. I remember my first pair being a truly kickass pink and blue rainbow frames with smurfette's face on the temples. I rocked those things like nobody's business.

Strangely I remember the first time I was called four-eyes. I remember being in second grade, looking the kid straight in the face and calling him a smartass. Its amazing what we pick up from adults right!? I got in trouble, he got labeled smartass by the other kids. incidentally his new nickname stuck for years to come.

So today.. being that I have the most insane crappy spex rx out there, contacts are pretty much an out for me. I mean I can become a lab rat for the contact lens companies... but I just can't see me allowing nerds in lab coats to stab me in the eye repeatedly in order to find lenses that I could see out of.

so whats the point of this post??? People who wear glasses and have no RX should be slapped repeatedly. I don't care who you are or what your reason is behind wearing giant frames from the 80's bought at your local street cred sellin store. If you can see perfectly fine, why not leave the coolness to those of use who've paid our dues in the eyeglass wearing world!?

Did you spend your childhood being taunted for your (parent chosen) ugly frames? Did you break pairs only to be punished like crazy? Have you ever failed a driving test because you didn't want the hot guy working at the DMV to see you in your spex???

No. You haven't. You basically picked up W magazine saw Lindsay Lohatesherself wearing a giant pair of Ferragamos and decided you needed to mimick her.

Please, for the love of god and all that is holy, grow an independent backbone. I'll even grant you street cred for it.

and finally... I can only hope that soon something horrific like gecko covered genie pants come back into style just to watch the fashion suicide ensue. Please let that be the new trend for Summer 2010. I really need the laugh.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

sickipoo

So apparently I"m destined to not be like everyone else and neglect their cold/flu/malaria to the point of deliriousness and THEN!! go see a dr. nooo I have to wake up with the left side of my face swollen and tender.



Dear Sinuses,

Do you hate me for a specific reason? Or are you just general haters?? Is it because almost 10 years ago I pierced my nose?? Or maybe because I decided nasal spray made my eyes water?? Or are you just treating my face like crap today because you hate for fun?

I would like you to know that the minute the ability to remove you from my face is a possibility you're gone. outta here. fired. No Severence.

Signed,

Yas' Face.


So tonight, I plan to go see a Dr. as I woke up today instead of just having a headache or a lil cough, I ended up with swelling and pain. WOO! my nose is clogged and running at the same time and I'm now in crotchety old curmudgeon mode from sickness. so yeah... I'm hoping they can just take me outta my misery.

and who knows.... maybe my Dr. will be some incredibly fantastic single Dr who wants to take care of my sinuses 24/5 (he'll get his allotted days off okay!?)

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Falling causes bruises

So it was only one date right? I'm trying not to turn into that insane neurotic needy girl who feels she needs to fall for the first man who shows her some attention! but dear god Neil is amazing. All I can do is just sit back and watch the melee of my life.

The current knitting project of a top of my own making is turning into a forever thing. FOREVER. I'm not sure what i think about that but I'm definitely determined to finish the damned thing. I'll post pictures soon.

I think thats it tonight because i'm so tired and sober and slightly gassy. so yeah.

goodnight!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Beginning of the End. OR.... The End of the Beginning.

How else could I start this?

I'm sitting in my mint green fleece penguin pajamas, watching Alfie and contemplating the next project on my hands. Thats it... Thats how I'll invite you into my world.

You see i'm a very busy girl who actually has absolutely no life. If it were not for outside influences, I'd have nothing to talk about. Don't get me wrong, the opinions come flying at me like fastballs in the 9th inning. (i hate baseball) but I could give a damn about what goes on around me unless I'm going to gripe about it. Its what I do best, Bitch and Craft.

I started crochet when I was in high school when my grandmother taught me the shell stitch and I made my first unfinished project. YES UNFINISHED! I started it got quite far, and ran out of yarn. Instead of buying more yarn, I just tied it off and went on my merry way, leaving the needles and hooks to other girls.

After years of goofing with fine art, fashion design and even shoe addiction, I've picked up the hook again and even migrated to the needle.

You see, that's how all this nonsense starts, Sewing is like pot, crochet like meth, knitting like cocaine and tatting like heroin. I'm not at the tatting level yet. Not that hopelessly addicted. I've stopped atcoke. I have morals ya know!

So there you have it, once in a while i'll get totally shitfaced on yarn and create something halfassedly amazing. you'll see it, in between my rants to the world about how crappy it can be on a daily basis.